And now, the Geek Bowl IX answers!

Round 1: Duking It Out In The Duke City
1. Born in 1899, Duke Ellington came to be a major participant in the “Renaissance” of what New York City neighborhood? Harlem
2. If you wanted to correctly spell the name of Duke University’s basketball coach, how many “z”s would you use? Two. (It’s spelled “Krzyzewski”.)
3. Patty Duke played both roles, Helen and Anne, in separate film versions of what play? The Miracle Worker
4. Here’s something you won’t understand: what band, on the album track following “How I Could Just Kill A Man”, sampled the song “Duke Of Earl”, by Gene Chandler? Cypress Hill [I nominated DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince, based on the “won’t understand” clue. Obviously “How I Could Just Kill A Man” sounds a lot heavier than Will Smith generally ever gets, but any other guess would have been kind of “name a rap group,” so we went with it. Nope. I don’t think any of us were ever going to get anywhere near Cypress Hill, though, which is oddly comforting.]
5. Due to a 1982 contract dispute, cousins Coy and Vance briefly replaced what TV siblings? Bo and Luke Duke
6. Which was longer, the infamous gap between Duke Nukem 3D and Duke Nukem Forever, or the infamous gap between Guns ‘n’ Roses’ Use Your Illusion albums and Chinese Democracy? (Just answer “Duke” or “GnR”.) GnR
7. What “P” word means the entire system of noble titles? Peerage
8. According to Channel Islanders, and despite her presumable lack of male sex organs, who is the Duke of Normandy? Queen Elizabeth II
Back to the questions

Round 2: Dude Sings Like A Lady
1. Katy Perry – “I Kissed A Girl”
2. Alanis Morrisette – “Thank U”
3. Destiny’s Child – “Independent Women” [Because of the whole “female PERFORMING artist” thing, we debated whether to put Beyoncé, but decided that no, dammit, Destiny’s Child was the correct “performing artist” for that song.]
4. Kristen Bell – “Do You Want To Build A Snowman?” [So this was why they emphasized “PERFORMING artist” so much in the explanation — they wanted us to be sure to name the person singing the song, not the movie character. Don had an incredible pull on this song.]
5. Alicia Keys – “Girl On Fire” [The team was debating the exact title of the song, but I was quite certain that it’s “Girl On Fire.”]
6. Shania Twain – “Man! I Feel Like A Woman!” [A new corollary for the commandments — if spelling doesn’t count, punctuation counts even less.]
7. Melissa Etheridge – “Like The Way I Do” [This one couldn’t possibly have been more in my wheelhouse, though Brian clearly knew it too.]
8. Whitney Houston – “The Greatest Love Of All”
Back to the questions

Round 3: Red Or Green?
1. Who bought Reddit in 2006: Condé Nast or Yahoo? Condé Nast
2. Which team wore a green shirt at the 2014 World Cup: Italy or Mexico? Mexico
3. Which chain has more U.S. locations: Red Lobster or Red Robin? Red Lobster
4. In which book did the Red Wedding occur: A Clash Of Kings or A Storm Of Swords? A Storm Of Swords
5. Did Greenpeace’s initial cause concern nuclear testing or whaling? Nuclear testing
6. Not including gulfs, which has more Red Sea coastline: Egypt or Saudi Arabia? Saudi Arabia
7. The Green Book is the credited work of which controversial political figure: Gerry Adams or Moammar Qadaffi? Moammar Qadaffi
8. Which color of light is most conducive to photosynthesis: Red or Green? Red
Back to the questions

Round 4: The World According to LARP
1. With a name that comes from the Latin words for “heap” and “rainstorm”, what kind of cloud normally produces lightning? Cumulonimbus
2. While we were killing Muslims during the Crusades, Paladins like myself called them by what slightly longer term, which is the same as the name of the quarterback on the show Friday Night Lights? Saracen
3. Speaking of things white people know nothing about: every year, dozens of people go to the Aokigahara Forest to do… what? Commit suicide [So here was where we strayed from the Commandments. We first thought of honoring fallen dead somehow, but “dozens” seemed wrong for that. George suggested “climb Mt. Fuji”, which sounded reasonable. Larry said to Don, “What about committing suicide, like hara-kiri?” However, I never heard that suggestion, and a few others may not have either. It’s tough when you’re doing it under time pressure, and we still may have been persuaded by the Mt. Fuji thing over suicide, but I was sad to know we’d had the answer on the table but hadn’t given it full consideration.]
4. What bird is biologically closest to a falcon: a hawk, an eagle, or a kestrel? Kestrel
5. Ponies are defined as measuring less than 58 inches at what specific shoulder area, which the composer of “Lean On Me” would be proud of? Withers
7. In statistics, the standard deviation is signified by what 18th letter of the Greek alphabet? Sigma [Don said “Sigma.” George said “Sigma.” Jonathan wrote out the Greek alphabet and counted. Sigma.]
8. Besides Barbara Walters, name eight of the nine women to date who have been panelists on The View for more than one season. Joy Behar, Whoopi Goldberg, Elisabeth Hasselbeck, Star Jones, Lisa Ling, Debbie Matenopoulos, Rosie O’Donnell, Sherri Shepherd, Meredith Viera [The one we didn’t say was Lisa Ling.]
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Round 5: LandMark Wahlberg
So, for posterity, in case the awesome video ever gets taken down, here’s how this round worked. The idea was that we’d see a landmark, and then a famous person would show up in the frame. The name of the landmark and the name of the famous person would have a common sound — not necessarily a common word. Example: a shot of Machu Picchu, and then a cutout of Yo-Yo Ma climbing it. The answer: Yo-Yo Machu Picchu.

The answers:

1. Kanye West Point
2. UluRuPaul
3. Westminster Abbie Hoffman
4. Mount Vernon Davis
5. La Sagrada Familia Earhart
6. Hagia Sofia Loren
7. Dome Of The Rock Hudson
8. Notre Dame Edna [I recognized Notre Dame right away, and then Don Kreskined “Dame Edna.”]
Back to the questions

Round 6: The Round You And Your Sister Have Been Waiting For
1. According to the King James Version of the Bible, “He that troubleth his own house shall inherit” what? The wind
2. Named Adult Video News #21 All-Time Greatest Porn Film, what 1980 family fuckfest shares its name with a family board game from Hasbro? Taboo
3. Named for a geneticist called Reginald C. Something, what’s that quadrilateral chart that biologists use to determine the likely genotype of offspring? Punnett square
4. A pair of federal agents encounter an inbred Pennsylvania clan called the Peacocks in “Home”, a classic 1996 episode of what TV series? The X-Files
5. A product of over 100 years of inbreeding, the drooling, slow-witted Charles II was the last Hapsburg to rule what nation? Spain
6. Owners of most of Colorado’s sports teams, plus a few others, the Kroenke familly actually got most of their cash by marrying into what Southern family? Walton [We initially had “Wal-Mart” written down, but this is where team checking came in handy — I happened to catch it and have us revise to “Walton.”]
7. Unpublished for almost 150 years, The Inheritance was the first novel by what precocious teen, who later quite extensively covered the March family? Louisa May Alcott
8. What famous actress thankfully inherited her looks from her mother, Marcheline Bertrand, rather than her father, the title star of Midnight Cowboy? Angelina Jolie
Back to the questions

Round 7: Bust A Movie
Video is now provided of the answers, hooray!

But again, in case somebody’s copyright claim someday torpedoes that video, here are the answers in text form as well:
1. Grease
2. Beetlejuice
3. Little Miss Sunshine
4. The Breakfast Club
5. (500) Days Of Summer
6. Mean Girls
7. Silver Linings Playbook
8. West Side Story
Back to the questions

Round 8: Random Knowledge
1. According to and several other sources, what two countries have the most Facebook users? India and Brazil [We said India and Japan.]
2. Which two cable shows were the last ones to win the Primetime Emmy for Outstanding Drama series more than once? Breaking Bad and Mad Men
3. a) What is the relative minor key of C-major? A minor b) What’s the mathy-sounding name of the wheel that shows the tones of the chromatic scale with their major and minor relative tones? The Circle Of Fifths
4. a) The Pleiades and the Crab Nebula are both in which Zodiac constellation? Taurus b) The Australian flag features the Southern Cross, otherwise known by what Latin name? Crux [We had put “Crux Australis”, but apparently since there’s no official Northern Cross constellation, the Southern Cross is just “Crux”, and we lost a point.]
5. a) Now in Lebanon, what ancient Phoenician city lent its name to the purple dye favored by ancient rulers? Tyre b) Chemically, that dye owes its color to the presence of what halogen element? Bromine [This surprised us and a lot of others, who put “iodine” like we did.]
6. a) What sort of environmental sensor did Apple add to the iPad Air 2? A barometer b) To the nearest hundred, what was the U.S. retail price of the original entry-level iPad? $500 [Blanked on this one. We said “thumbprint sensor” and “600”]
7. a) The Bhagavad Gita takes the form of a conversation between a Hindi prince and his driver, who is actually what deity? Krishna b) They spend a lot of time discussing what Sanskrit word, which signifies the Hindu concept of “what is right”? Dharma [Sigh, we said “Vishnu” and “karma”.]
8. a) Half the people currently on the International Space Station are from what country? Russia b) Since it’s expedition #42, they made a mission poster that’s ultimately based on the works of what novelist? Douglas Adams [Adams was no problem, but we guessed China instead of Russia.]

Pre-Emptive Tiebreaker: Take the number of ounces in a bomber of beer (B), then subtract the number of living original members of the Wu-Tang Clan (W). Multiply the difference by the number of landlocked member countries of the European Union (E). Add to the product the number of seasons the show Gossip Girl (G) ran. Or, in simplified form:

[(B-W) x E] + G

Bomber of beer: 22 ounces
Living original Wu-Tang members: 8
Landlocked EU members: 5
Gossip Girl seasons: 6

So: [(22-8) x 5] + 6 = 76
[We thought the bomber was 32, which threw our whole thing off, not that it made a difference.]

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And that’s it for the Geek Bowl! Thanks as always to Geeks Who Drink for a wonderful event. And hey, I hear it’ll be in Denver next year! There’s no place like home…